:: Pedantic Platitudes ::

:: Saturday, April 19, 2003 ::

My proposal for a independent foreign film that will become the biggest success and win a million awards:

"The Woman Who Only Saw With One Eye"

It's about a woman who literally only viewed the world with one eye, with the other eye shut. She would only look out of that one eye not because of any physical disability, but because of her unwillingness to open her other eye.

Here is the dialogue from the thrillingly climactic final scene:

[Inspirational music swells.]
Man: The world can be twice as beautiful if you use both eyes to see!
[Woman slowly opens the eye she has kept shut throughout the entire movie.]
Woman: Oh, yes! It is twice as beautiful! I love you! Thank you for helping me see!
[Kissing, followed by erotic sex scene.]
[Music and other things climax.]
The End.

This film should be presented preferably in French or Italian, though German might be interesting as well. Here's the final scene in French, as presented by AltaVista's Babel Fish Translation Service:

[Bosses de musique d'Inspirational.]
Homme: Le monde peut être deux fois aussi beau si vous employez les deux yeux pour voir!
[La femme ouvre lentement l'oeil qu'elle a maintenu fermé dans tout le film entier.]
Femme: Ah, oui! Il est deux fois aussi beau! Je t'aime! Merci de m'aider voient!
[Baisers, suivis de scène érotique de sexe.]
[Musique et toute autre apogée de choses.]
L'extrémité.

And here it is in Italian:

[Swells di musica di Inspirational.]
Uomo: Il mondo può essere due volte bello se usate entrambi gli occhi per vedere!
[Donna apre lentamente l'occhio che ha mantenuto chiuso durante l'intero movie.]
Donna: L'OH, sì! È due volte bello! Ti amo! Grazie per l'assistenza me vedono!
[Baciare, seguito dalla scena erotic del sesso.]
[Musica ed altre cose raggiungono il punto culminante.]
L'Estremità.

Finally, in German:

[Musik inspirational swells.]
Mann: Die Welt kann so schön zweimal sein, wenn sie beide augen benutzen, um zu sehen!
[Frau öffnet langsam das auge, das sie geschlossen während des gesamten films gehalten hat.]
Frau: OH-, ja! Es ist zweimal so schön! Ich liebe dich! Danke für das helfen ich sehen!
[Küssen, gefolgt von der erotischen geschlechtszene.]
[Musik und andere sachen steigern sich.]
Das Ende.

:: SL 10:32 PM [+] ::
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