:: Pedantic Platitudes ::

:: Saturday, July 31, 2004 ::

This is really disturbing, but I felt compelled to share this information.

Somebody came upon my blog Pedantic Platitudes by searching on a search engine for the following phrase: "can pet rats masturbate."

Now, I don't know why in the world this search phrase would lead to my blog. After all, I have never written about pet rats masturbating.

But let's think about this... This is someone's burning question! Somebody was curious enough to go online and actually do some research about this topic. I wonder what this person is like. He or she was probably sitting in a chair with nothing better to do, wondering about the mysteries of the world. Perhaps this person was wondering about the weird and wacky things pet rats can do. Then, in a twist of fate, the thought of masturbation crossed their mind, and the thoughts of pet rats and masturbation mixed, thus creating the question that would lead to the curiosity that would prompt this person to go online and ask what they'd been dying to know: Can pet rats masturbate?

Ha! But instead of finding out the truth about captive rodent onanism, they ended up being led to my blog! They couldn't find the answer here because I have never written about pet rats masturbating! So this person was probably really disappointed. Oh well... Sorry, dude... hope you find your information somewhere!

Sigh, but now, I have written about this subject matter, so now even more people curious about this topic will be led to my site. Alas.

:: SL 12:40 PM [+] ::
...

I got a haircut today. I will be attending a journalism convention next week in Washington, D.C., and I wanted to look presentable when I see all of my Knight Ridder friends and officials again.

It was a lovely Saturday. The sun was out, and the temperature was quite warm. I did my laundry today, but the cursed drying machine did not work, so I had to air dry my clothes. It's not a bad idea, considering it helps prevent too much wear on your clothes and it saves the energy required with operating a drying machine. However, the air, unfortunately, is quite humid, and my clothes have not been drying very well. If they do not dry soon, they will probably grow moldy. Alas.

Quote of the Day: "Yeah, well, Mark is kind of sleazy, too, except at least he keeps his sleaze to one woman at a time." [From a conversation overheard on the street.]

:: SL 1:49 AM [+] ::
...

Today, I went to see an outdoor production of Shakespeare's "Much Ado About Nothing." It was fun to sit and have a picnic and watch the play. It was rather humorous, and I enjoyed the energetic performance, especially with the exciting sets, lighting, and costumes.

I wasted some time today watching trailers on apple.com. Who knew there were so many exciting movies out right now and coming up? There's an upcoming film called "Hero," and I think it's directed and/or produced by the same person/people who did "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." It was a huge hit in Asia (especially in Taiwan) when I visited Taiwan at the beginning of 2003, and now it will be in the U.S. It looks really exciting and dramatic, in that sort of Asian historical fiction epic sort of way. I hope they use subtitles and don't dub over the dialogue. That completely kills a film in another language. I once saw a version of "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" that was dubbed in English, and it was HORRIBLE! I couldn't get over the strange voices that were out of sync with the mouths of the actors. Alas.

Quote of the Day: "For which of my 'bad parts' did you first fall in love with me?"

:: SL 11:58 AM [+] ::
...

YAY!!! There's a new Teen Girl Squad episode up at homestarrunner.com! This new one is absolutely surreal.

:: SL 2:32 AM [+] ::
...

OK, so I ripped this idea from a friend, but it's just so entertaining, I couldn't resist!

Pick a singer or band and use their song titles to answer each question.
Artist: Britney Spears
1. Are you male or female?
"Boys"
2. Describe yourself:
"I'm Not A Girl, Not Yet A Woman"
3. How do some people feel about you?
"(You Drive Me) Crazy"
4. How do you feel about yourself:
"I'm A Slave For You"
5. Describe your (hypothetical) girl/boyfriend:
"The Hook Up"
6. Where would you rather be?
"Where Are You Now?"
7. Describe what you want to be:
"Toxic"
8. Describe how you live:
"Oops... I Did It Again"
9. Describe how you love:
"Touch Of My Hand" ha ha ha... "Bombastic Love"
10. Share a few words of wisdom:
"Don't Let Me Be The Last To Know"

:: SL 2:21 AM [+] ::
...

Alas, my computer is once again suffering from the Internet Explorer problem that plagued it a couple days ago, so now I have to use AOL again in order to get internet connection.

Today, I watched the fourth and final day of the Democratic National Convention. It was so inspiring to see former Sen. Max Cleland, who lost an arm and both his legs in the Vietnam War, introduce John Kerry.

John Kerry then gave a great speech declaring a campaign that will unite, not divide, our great country. It's true; our country does need unification, as it is very divided right now. Kerry talked about his service in Vietnam and described how he served America then, and he'll serve America now as president.

Quote of the Day: "I don't want to be swept off my feet by Prince Charming! I want to stay on my feet!"

:: SL 1:56 AM [+] ::
...

Ah yes, the California Mid-State Fair begins today... I nearly forgot. I'm kind of sad that I'm not going to be in town for the fair this year. It feels like the first summer ever that I'm not going to the fair; well, it is my first summer not spent at home. I'm going to miss going to the fair... I mean, where else can I be offended by the "Ching Chong Chinese [or something to that effect] Laundry Service" in the "recreation" of a Western frontier town?

I have to admit, though, that the fair isn't really all that bad. Despite its occasional ignorance and racial insensitivity, it does offer one of the largest collection of concert acts near my hometown. And it does celebrate the importance of agriculture in our county. Plus, it gives young people entertainment and something to do during the sometimes dull summer months.

In other news, I watched day three of the Democratic National Convention on TV tonight. I was very moved by Senator John Edwards' speech. He clearly announced the position of the Kerry/Edwards campaign (finally!), from healthcare to education, from veteran care to combatting terrorism. Edwards' speech was incredibly optimistic, offering hope for the future (announcing a new catchphrase: Hope is on the way!) and rejecting the negativity that has been so widespread this year. John Kerry made a great choice in selecting John Edwards to be his vice presidential candidate, as Edwards offers a wonderful blend of optimism and charisma so important to a campaign. I felt that his inspirational vision for the future was reminiscent of John F. Kennedy's optimism in the 60s. After Edwards' speech, we got to see him with his family onstage, and I was just all smiles seeing such a beautiful, loving family together. His ideas, along with his American dream success story (the son of a mill worker, Edwards became the first person in his family to go to college through his hard work and dream of a better life), makes me hope that John Kerry will win so that Edwards can be vice president.

I can't wait to hear what John Kerry has to say tomorrow. We're really seeing the convention build up over the last few days, and it will all culminate tomorrow with John Kerry's acceptance of his nomination. It will also be neat to hear from all the veterans who once served with John Kerry during the Vietnam War.

Ooh, yay! My Internet Explorer is working again! I wonder what happened to make it randomly not work for a couple of days, when it has never failed me before. Alas.

Quote of the Day: "Oh, look, how charming! They're playing parkball!"

:: SL 8:26 PM [+] ::
...

I finally got a highly coveted Gmail account. I thought for a moment about giving it up on gmailswap.com, where people are offering highly amusing things (ranging from "my friendship" and "a handshake" to "a big box of chocolates" or "a postcard from (an obscure town in) Norway" to "the meaning of life"). I didn't see any offers that were particularly appealing, so I decided to keep it for myself. I don't see myself using Gmail much... until it gets really big, I don't see it as worth my time to learn a new e-mail system, especially when I already have two e-mail accounts with other systems that serve me quite well. I think I might find use for it once the 100 MB in my Yahoo! e-mail account are used up.

Today, I watched day two of the Democratic National Convention. I watched Illinois State Senator Barack Obama's rousing speech, and let me agree with all the political pundits: This guy is gonna be a star. I don't think I've ever seen so many good things said about a person based on one speech that person gave, but Obama certainly deserves all that praise. His speech was hopeful (echoing the entire theme of the evening), and it set a wonderful vision for the future. He delivered his message with such optimism, charisma, enthusiasm, and confidence that I was certainly moved. His personal story is quite inspirational, too. Barack graduated from Harvard Law School, and his father is an immigrant from Kenya. His growing successes highlight the power of the American dream and brings hope to every person who ever dreamed of a better life.

The rest of the speeches were enjoyable, too. I was particularly moved by the speech delivered by Ron Reagan, son of former President Ronald Reagan. Ron talked about the importance of stem cell research, and he pointed out to a national audience some important details about stem cell research that many people are not aware of. Some are opposed to stem cell research because they remain ignorant about the issue; they believe that stem cell research violates the "sanctity of life." This is simply not true. Ron Reagan described a type of procedure that would take cells from the patient suffering from a particular disease to grow new cells specific to that one person to cure him or her. The procedure does not kill a fetus or grow another human being... the cells used would have been thrown away anyways; it merely grows new cells that may be used to cure previously incurable diseases, from Parkinson's disease to juvenile diabetes. The true violation of life is not allowing stem cell research that could save the lives of so many people who suffer from such debilitating diseases. This issue certainly has not been in the media spotlight much, and I'm glad Ron Reagan brought the issue to light to a national audience in a manner that was not partisan (it's true that saving lives should not be a partisan issue) and that could be understood by all, despite the complicated science behind all the new technology. I hope that those who oppose stem cell research based on ideology take a moment to research all the facts before prematurely shutting themselves to the possibility of saving and bettering the lives of so many.

Quote of the Day: "And then the season just ended, so you have to wait for the next season of Jeopardy; it's like Star Wars: The Return of Ken Jennings."

:: SL 12:17 AM [+] ::
...

Augh! Something bad has happened to my computer! I cannot use Internet Explorer to access the internet anymore with my high-speed internet connection. I have to do it through AOL. I'm not sure what happened... it can't be a problem with the internet connection because I can still access the internet, and it can't be an Internet Explorer problem because I can still use Internet Explorer once I'm signed onto AOL. Alas, what to do? It's really frustrating me.

This evening, I watched a bit of the Democratic National Convention. It was neat to hear again inspirational words from such major figures of the Democratic Party as Al Gore, Bill Clinton, and Jimmy Carter.

So tonight my friends and I gathered again for trivia night at a local bar and restaurant. It was a lot of fun, and we snacked on half-price appetizers. We had won last Monday, beating out many other teams and the second place team by one point, and we were hoping to defend our status as winners. We started playing two weeks ago, with the team name "Pussycat Liaisons." We then gathered again last week with the team name "Chocolate Malt" and won first place, getting us each $10 gift cards to *$s (ha! I just made that up... get it? Starbucks?). 

This week, we weren't doing so well and were trailing behind several teams. I noted that the team name we picked for ourselves, "The Rise and Fall of William Henry Harrison," doomed us from the start, considering the fact that William Henry Harrison (the ninth president of our country) died less than a month after he was sworn into office after catching pneumonia on the day he was inaugurated - a cold and wet day when he didn't wear a jacket and delivered the longest inauguration speech in U.S. history. What a great team name... the irony certainly is not lost on me.

Nevertheless, we won at the very last bonus question (worth quite a few points) by knowing which animal became extinct after the last of its species, Martha, died at the Cincinnati Zoological Gardens. It was the passenger pigeon, and we won the last round! It was very exciting. This time, we got $10 gift cards to Urban Outfitters. Good times! Trivia night certainly makes Mondays more bearable.

Quote of the Day: "This calls for sitting 80s style!"

:: SL 11:26 PM [+] ::
...

Today, I went to celebrate my friend's 21st birthday. It was the most wholesome 21st birthday party I've ever been to, but that's not a bad thing at all. We enjoyed pizza and watermelon and ice cream and cake. The cake and ice cream were vegan friendly and very tasty. While at the table, we played with these little mind puzzles where you have to get separate two little metal objects from each other. The package the puzzles came in described the games as ancient Chinese games, but I highly doubt that they are Asian at all. The packaging played on the worst Asian stereotypes and went on about solving the puzzles by being at peace with nature. Puh-leeze. It was worth laughing at, though, and the puzzles were fairly entertaining, especially when you were able to figure them out.

We then settled down and played a rousing game of Scrabble, a game I enjoy playing very much but don't get to play often. I had been doing well throughout the game, and I think I ended up getting second place. We then sat around and conversed and had a wonderful time, listening to the soundtrack to the musical Avenue Q and playing with balloons.

Quote of the Day: "Oops, I forgot that in real life, there's no undo button!"

:: SL 10:11 PM [+] ::
...

This morning, a fire alarm went off in my building, and everyone gathered in the courtyard after being evacuated. This came after an entire week of early-morning fire alarm tests, and we residents did not appreciate the horrendously loud alarm going off, especially on the weekend. It ended up being another false alarm. Alas.

Today, I went to the drugstore to purchase some soap and deodorant, both of which, strangely, I had run out of on the same day. My friend accompanied me in the drugstore, and he danced in the aisle to the Muzak that was playing while I tried to decide which variety I wanted. I ultimately decided on "Mountain Rush," which in my imagination should smell like pine forests or the crisp, cool absence of smell that one might find on a snowy mountain. However, it smells nothing like a mountain. Not that deodorants stray far from variations of an indefinable "masculine" scent anyways. Did you know that deodorant costs almost $25 a pound? When I related this fact to my other friend, she noted, "Well, how many pounds of deodorant do you use each day?" True, you don't use much each day, but it is rather disconcerting how much these costs can build up over time.

Later today, my friend and I went to the Star Market supermarket. It was a wonderful excursion, and we got a lot of exercise out of it. I haven't been to a supermarket in a very long time, and they're actually quite exciting to visit. I'm not sure why I enjoy visiting supermarkets so much. It's not as if I didn't go to the supermarket often when I was a child.

Quote of the Day: "I want to get a tattoo of Sam J on my leg!"

:: SL 10:32 PM [+] ::
...

Wow, how quickly five months have passed!!! Can you believe the last time I posted was in February? Inconceivable!

Well, I am back, here to spew my (formerly) pedantic rhetoric once again... I just couldn't stay away from blogging. It's just too much fun!

It's interesting to see all these new features that Blogger is offering. I like the more easy-to-use features.

Well, it's great to be back... I shall conclude with an old favorite: The Quote of the Day!

Quote of the Day: "Oh, Sam J, I'm so glad you're looking out for copyright laws, and more importantly, that you're looking out for your own business interests!"

:: SL 1:39 AM [+] ::
...